It’s come to the attention of a few Wild Geese members that there are some people in the group who swear and make inappropriate comments and other sundry offences too despicable to repeat. So following a meeting of the morality committee I’ve been appointed Morality Officer, and on my recommendation Ozzie’s been appointed Deputy Morality Officer to fill in when I’m absent. (A good choice I’m sure you’ll all agree!)
Some of the other members of the group considered for the post were ruled out on account of certain aspects of their nature that might preclude them from fulfilling their duties in a vigorous manner. Without getting specific, the following is a partial list of some of the traits that went against some members under consideration: chronic bed wetting, asthmatic, colour blind, communist, compulsive masturbator, homosexual, hearing loss in one or both ears, heroin addict, genital warts, agoraphobia, double amputees and anyone claiming to have had sexual relations with aliens.
Anyway, it will be our duty to root out all evil doers and to clamp down on this insidious behaviour before it leads to a general corruption of the good name and endeavours of the group as a whole. Wish us well, it looks like it’s going to be a big contract!